Well, as far as I remember the first time I heard of CSS was when I was a little school-going girl. Our teacher told us that her brother had qualified the toughest exams on the planet…and I was like ‘Oh Man!’ :D
For me, the beginning was quite abrupt… My mom had always been pushy with me on the matter of taking CSS exams but I always gave it a deaf ear, until December 2010… I don’t know what exactly went into me but I decided to take up the exams. Grabbed my copy of CSS guide book from the nearest bookstore and selected my subjects overnight: D… On the 20th of December 2010 I submitted my application… and I said to myself ‘what have I done???’ – I had done something I didn’t have the slightest inkling of just a week before it.
Anyways, I got down to study… took no stress, even though my condition was lame. With a strong faith in Allah, I started searching for helpful material on the internet and elsewhere. Nabbed whatever I could get my hands on… but studying them was challenging, especially keeping to the fact that I didn’t have much of a time and that people around me had high hopes for me. Didn’t want to abase myself before them…had to do it!!! All this was onerous enough to addle me. ‘Do it, Amna’ – my inner voice screamed.
I gave up my social life and occluded myself of my room. A state of hibernation, one could say. Watching TV before going to bed was something I had to hold on to otherwise I would go mad… That ‘TV time’ was the time for me to read through MCQs. My preparation was good… in fact, quite good since I was able to manage stress well.
Exam days were not so stressful… I didn’t touch a single book during those 5 days (10 papers in a row). I would just take the papers, come back home and relax. Just wanted my brains to have some space to breathe ;)
After much wait, finally the written result came out… now I could tell all my impatient kith and kins about it. The first time I opened up the result document, I gave it a cursory look and hence missed out my name…confused roll numbers with serial numbers…thought my dream had shattered!!! My hopes turned into debacle!!! Then typed my name in the search bar and found I was there. Yes! I had made it!!! I was there!!! Yiipppeee!!! Thanked Allah a thousand times… !
Qualifying written exams did not come up as a surprise but the thought of final result ran chills down my spine. I did study enough this time… had five months to go through newspapers and revise my optional subjects. So, I worked really hard to catch up with it.
Psychological assessment was somewhat fun… It was interesting to have your competitors right in front of you; each and everyone giving their best. The interview went too well… didn’t drop a single question but the thought of not making it to the merit list was constantly lingering in my head.
At last, the final result came out… merit 114 and 11th position in KPK was all I could wish for. I was safe!!!
Allocations were like a formality… had already known my group through calculations on the forum and my own personal understanding of how things move around. So, I am here today writing this, mesmerizing all that I have been through for this dream – a dream to serve my nation… to TAX them for a prosperous Pakistan!!! Yahhhhooooo!!!!
Everyone needs a place in their life where they can go to escape the demands of family and work, enjoy some adult time and be free from the daily grind. Psychologists call it ‘the third space’ because most people spend the majority of their lives in two places – home and work. A third space provides a haven from these places of responsibility, where we can chill out and indulge our leisure interests. For me, my third space is my blog. It is without doubt the most important part of my world.